Now that I am done with the biggest day of my life…honestly, it just flew by. For all the world’s planning that I had done years in advance, I just wish I could slow it down. But it so happens, time doesn’t really wait for anybody. Especially not for the bride.
I planned my wedding on a budget, as you might know…for those of you who are new to the blog…check out the wedding series. You may find a thing or two which will help you plan out your wedding more efficiently and might help you save a buck or two.
Everything in my wedding was on a shoe-string budget…at least by today’s standards…its not like I couldn’t spend more on that one day…I just chose not to. It was the best decision I had made. Why?
#1 You won’t be able to enjoy every little thing you paid for. Guaranteed !
Its a rushed affair on the d-day. I never got ready on time, I know you wouldn’t either. So from delays in getting dolled up, to not having time to enjoy the food…its all part of the big day. There is no escaping it…its not like its done on purpose…it just happens.
So while according to me I paid quite generously to my MUA, and my photographers…in the end…because I had so many rituals and events back to back…we couldn’t spend as much time as we would have liked to. My MUA with the hairstylist rather than giving me a stress-free spa like feeling were instead pulling my hair from multiple angles, applying harsh strokes on my face…and it was c-r-a-z-y-y-y-y-y.
Not their fault, but it just happens. What does it cause then – S-T-R-E-S-S !
#2 Manage your expectations
I had meticulously planned every single bit of my wedding. It was something I loved doing, and I have no problems saying I was pretty good at it. Everything was micro-managed to perfection by me. But I forgot one key thing. On the day of…I was not going to be in charge.
That changed everything.
In the last few days before the wedding, I finally handed over all the logistics and other necessary information to my cousin and uncles. They were taking over. But I should have known that they didn’t know at the last minute how to deal with vendor madness. Yes it happens, it happens only in the end…and one just has to deal with it.
So from taking a rickshaw to the salon, to not having my dupatta with me on time…chaos is not even the right word to describe the extent of the madness. In the end, I turned out to be one snappy bride. I look back, and I feel terrible for the way I must have acted on the wedding day…but stress really gets to you.
So prepare yourself beforehand, to expect anything out of the box to go wrong on the d-day.
#3 Jaimala should always be two – not one…never !
The entertainment for the night for all my wedding guests. We walked on the stage to do the jaimala ritual, and what do we see. Just one looooong jaimala, which needed to be cut into two. Everyone was already cheering for the two of us, and we were giggling out of love looking at each other. It was the first time we laid our eyes on each other on the wedding day, and I honestly could care less of what was happening around.
Till I saw what was handed over to me. ONE JAIMALA. !
What was I to do. Luckily/Unluckily the whole spoof was captured very well on camera, to show all our future grand kids how we struggled putting that one jaimala on each others necks. But that was not the painful part.
For the next 3 hours of the reception night evening, we were literally glued to each other. That jaimala was long enough for two of us to stand next to each other…but not go apart even to turn. It was super funny, and every guest that came up on stage had such a gala time pulling our leg about it.
- “Stuck together for life, get used to it…this is what it feels like in real”
- “Abhi bhi time hai, pheras are not done yet…make up your mind…if you want to be together. God is giving you another chance”
- “Was this a planned move? The jaimala looks like a heart garland from the other side. Very well thought of”
#4 Traditional Video sucks ! Period.
Its been close to 9 months to our wedding, and me and the husband have still not sat through our wedding video. Its true. Its just too painful. They should completely just stop providing traditional video. Everyone told us, may be a decade or so later, you will enjoy seeing what happened on your d-day…but right now…its just not for us.
From silly background music to slow moving torturous 4 hour video…I feel sorry for the one who even put in that much efforts to make it for us. I haven’t opened the video and I sure couldn’t get myself to spend an afternoon looking at it.
That said, I know some of you might ask then is it better to just go ahead with cinematography instead? Well, that depends…I still feel its a bit too too pricey for the amount of footage and time covered. Yes, some might say quality precedes quantity…but you can’t just not have major portion cut out right? Its a tough call, I wish there was something in between that could be worked out…but so far…there aren’t any other options yet.
#5 Smile throughout – You never know when the camera goes [click-click]
I am someone who is quite expressive through my face, and it totally showed in all the pictures. There were so many goofy pics, I am just thinking why couldn’t I just be a little less dramatic.
#6 Do not keep multi-day functions. Spread it out if possible
5 day functions. Good for you. But you’re going to die by the end of it. Hop skipping from one function to the other…you will keep thinking of the next one while missing out on all the enjoyment of the present day. We had 3 destination wedding, and all of them were back to back. My wedding celebrations lasted a good half month…(seriously), and I don’t remember my new husband at all in those early days of marriage.
I was a talking-dancing doll throughout. One function ends, obviously way past the original deadline…and then everything after just piles on and on. There is no break and it takes a massive toll on the body.
Yes, its a lot of fun for sure. But thinking back, I guess I would have enjoyed if we had time to sleep in between, recharge and then moved on to the next event. Its a huge task and something which normally wouldn’t work out…I mean how many days will you keep the guests because of the wedding, what about all the extra days kharcha etc etc…so its hard.
But just be aware of what its going to be like…that solves most of the problem. Plan ahead and figure out whether that is what you want.
By the end of the second destination celebrations…I won’t lie…I had days when I was like…let us just get on with our lives…no more makeup, no more hairdos and no more smiling till the jaw dies a slow death every night. It gets overwhelming and you have to realize that you have gone into a new house…there is that first impression bit, then meeting and greeting everyone. Its a full time labor intensive job to be a new bride !
#7 Take out time ALONE with the husband. + Some time for yourself
Not for the kinky stuff re, I mean that too…but just to enjoy the experience of wedding. I don’t remember spending time with my husband at the wedding. My head was constantly buzzing about whether the guests are doing ok, is everything on schedule…basically all the things that I shouldn’t think about. What to do…I was my wedding planner after all.
The only conversations I remember with him in those early days were…can you tell me who that person is, how are they related…what is our next event? How long are we going to be there…etc etc. The pure joy part was missing, and looking back, I am never going to get that time back.
Its not like we didn’t have our moments…yes we did…but I just wish I had some more with him. Ditto for me as well. I felt like I was dancing to someone elses tune those early days starting with the wedding day. It was hard, but there was so much going on in and around, that I couldn’t even process what was happening.
#8 No matter how late on schedule, click loads and loads of couple pictures
Our reception got over sometime around 11:30pm. We had our pheras scheduled at 12 noon. I had to change outfits and we had to eat too. All in half hour. On a normal day, I take more time than that to get ready. In the end, we ended up rushing our couple pictures. It was the worst thing that happened.
Our heads were just zombied thinking we have to sit through pheras till 4-5 in the morning. We totally missed the experience of clicking cosy pictures and basically couple shots. Please don’t do that at your wedding. You will regret it every time you look at your wedding pictures.
#9 Do not listen to vendor time issues. They are in wedding business. Weddings always run late.
My MUA was threatening to leave the venue at 11:45pm. She had to give me a outfit change+ hairstyle+ makeup. It was a disaster. While me and my new husband were posing for our couple pictures, she was in front of me showing me her watch in agitation.
At that time, my mind just couldn’t process anything that was happening. My photographer kept telling me to ignore them and said one key thing. They know what it takes to work in the wedding business. They will be ok. Forget about them.
In the end, I did rush it up and I regret it to this day. I blame myself but I do blame my MUA for pushing me.
#10 Trousseau is the key. Plan Plan Plan ahead !
What does plan really mean? Every day outfit organized…1-2-3 and so on and kept in order. So that you don’t have to wrack your brains to decide what to wear. In those chaotic and sleep deprived days after the wedding…its really hard to make those outfit decisions.
Its better to plan it ahead much ahead before the wedding, and pack up a suitcase and keep. Even better if you label them, the easier you make the process…the more you will love yourself. I didn’t do it, and I honestly struggled those initial days…We were invited to so many relatives houses and then there were rituals at home etc etc, and I jumbled up all my suitcases trying to find and figure out what to wear with what.
#11 Eat, eat, eat. Stuff yourself as much as you can.
A hungry stomach makes for an angry bride. There is no two way around it. All that thing about brides doing fasting…its a thing of the past…you want to enjoy your wedding…you need your energy. So make sure you tell someone befrehand to keep stuffing you every two hours.
#12 Outsource as much work as possible.
Its just easier. I don’t mean spend on a wedding planner or something….but just include one or two people from your family in all the day to day planning of the wedding. Keep someone in the loop. Its easier on the d-day to pass on the charge and you can relax in your wedding. Otherwise you will end up like me figuring out vendor bills, to logistics of guests arriving and every little detail. Don’t do that.
Have you made any #WeddingMistakes that you regret?