Exactly 2 Months to go, I am going maddddd….

by Namrata Nautiyal
10 comments
Exactly 2 months

I woke up today and I felt as though I haven’t slept all night. Even in my sleep I am thinking about all things wedding. Will the extensive guest list even fit at the venue, do we have to call all of them…are the grooms side writing no gifts – does that mean I need to write no gifts in my wedding card  😕 The wedding invitation card is not yet selected…its October today… what about my pending purchases – shoes, heavy suit sets etc…

I am up since 7 am but I am so exhausted. It feels as though I was planning war tactics in my head all night long. While on other days it is easier for me to write New Posts on different topics, today being the 1st is like a reality check. I cannot think of anything else.

 

There is exactly 2 months to go for the wedding !!! Yikkess !!!

There are so many unknown factors to the wedding as of today, that I feel I need to pick up one by one and clean up all the mess. So I am again off to Bhuleshwar today to do my shopping. This week has been the hottest in Mumbai, weather is like 37 degrees in peak hours, and even though I thought I should simply stay at home and not let my skin suffer anymore, I guess that is not possible…

 

Lets start with some good news. I really want to share this:

I finalized my photographer!

Just yesterday. All thanks to…wait wait…I will tell you. There is a story behind it. But its all done. What a relief ! My search started way back in June. Can you imagine. It really took that long. Me and the fiance from the past few days were debating between two agencies to hire. We finally decided on one, and I was calling the owner – but he simply wouldn’t answer my calls. I found it so strange…on the 3rd day, I wrote an email to him asking him what the issue was. He said his phones were stolen and that he was glad I reached out to him. But because of this delay, someone had already booked him on my wedding date !

At that moment, I can’t even begin to tell you what I felt. I thought God is purposely punishing me. But I had given myself an ultimatum to just close this…so I called the other agency, spoke to them and after some khich-khich, I have my photographer situation fixed. One major hurdle down.

I haven’t put in my booking amount yet…so give me this week, will share all the details about them soon 🙂 Don’t want it to get jinxed >_<

 

I am thinking of collecting all the Bridal Getting Ready Shots

You know its not just this, but hasn’t this happened to you, while looking through pictures of others weddings, there are certain shots that you absolutely love and plan to get clicked at your wedding as well. We are humans and not machines, which means we can’t remember it all after few days.

Exactly 2 Months

Now that I have fixed my photographer, I thought it will be easier for me, as well as for them if I have some ready shots to refer to. I realized this during my pre-wedding photoshoot as well as when my engagement pictures were being clicked. At that moment, the mind goes blank. You just do whatever comes to your head and regret it later to not have captured something different.

So what I have thought is, Pinterest is the best tool to use to pin all such ideas in one place. I have just started doing so, and if you see anything you like…do send me the pin on pinterest and I will make sure to include it in the board. This way we all can collectively have a fabulous go-to board with all the favorite shots in one place.

What do you think?

 

Went to pick my Wedding Lehenga

Still some alteration required….but I feel beautiful in it…touchwood. The lehenga is full flared, and the store people had not put the canvas appropriately for the stiffness. So even after having a gorgeous gher, the Lehenga did not fall well. Luckily they agreed to fix it within the next couple of days I should have it with me.

Seeing the lehenga all packed up, my mum tells the store people, “please take as many days as you like – this lehenga will take up significant area in the house just to keep it“…  😛 Even for me, the same thing was going on in my head…that outfit is easily going to take up one cabinet of space in my closet. Enjoy for a day, and stack it somewhere for the rest of your life. Its a little heartbreaking. May be I will simply wear the lehenga on some gloomy days when I am in Gurgaon to make myself feel better (Monica Geller style) 😀

 

I feel my guest list is a little too high for my venue

I don’t know why but it irritates me so much because all these vendors they simply do haan-haan to everything. My venue people have told me the lawn can accommodate easily 1000 guests. I am second guessing whether it can even accommodate 500 ! Can you see the difference.

Till now, I had thought I will only have round table-chair arrangements, no theatre style but both me and my fiance are doubtful. Since the venue is almost walking distance from my residence, I know at least my society guests will stay back for even the pheras which is late at night. And this essentially means, we need to atleast have chairs for the guests if not table.

So coming week, the fiance will be in town and I plan to once and for all sort this out. I had thought about so many things…that I would leave out little thank you notes for the guests in each of the round tables (basically borrow some ideas from this post), but if I have to opt for the theatre style arrangement, it all goes for a waste.

But I need to make up my mind soon rather than get disappointed later on.

 

Cutting down Guest List… why did I make so many (good) friends !!!

Cutting down the guest list is the worst thing to do. My final guest list count has to be no more than 500, and from this my quota is simply somewhere around 50 ! The rest of the crowd gets filled up by the other members of my family…I live with my grandparents as well, so their list counts too 😀

Touchwood, I have maintained awesome relations with all my ex office colleagues and bosses (shocking I know) and I wanted to invite them all. But now that I analyze the situation, its getting so so tough to include everybody even though they all are so close.

So, yesterday I sat reading articles online on how to bring down the guest list. One of the rules said – if you haven’t spoken to that good friend of yours in the past one year, they are ok to be left out. 

I know this is a little rude, but if anyone has a better algorithm on who gets invited and who doesn’t, please I am all ears !

 

Number of Digital E-Cards vs. Paper Invitation Card Counts pending

You know what scares me the most. Missing out on someone important in the list. Its never done on purpose but these things do happen. And the worst is if someone was expecting you to invite them and you totally missed on that. It just ruins everything.

I have decided all my friends get e-cards, may be will send out one or two paper invitations, but no more than that. Even if paper invitations have all the more value and actually feel like authentic invitations…I am putting my foot down on this…its not as though I am some self professed environment friendly freak or something… but it just feels right this way.

I remember this time last year, one of my closest friends was getting married and she sent out her e-invites on whatsapp along with something very special. She actually audio recorded special messages for all her friends and sent it out along with the e-cards. 

I found that super special. She actually recorded different messages for every invitee making everyone feel so welcome and included in her big day. I think her way felt more personal than just getting a paper invitation card. So I am going to borrow her idea, and probably do something similar. What do you think?

 

Can’t make head or tail of why MUA’s are charging what they charge

I understand if you wish to charge a high amount for dramatic looks…but I don’t understand how can you come up with standard rates…what if I want the natural look? On any other occasion, to give me that look, you would have charged less than half…but just because it is my wedding…you add extra zero to that amount !

It works both ways against our favor. We being hyper brides feel if we pay more, we might get more which is not usually the case. There is no measuring standards which tell you an MUA charging 15k is going to be better for you as compared to someone charging 12k.

It depends on how they make you look. From what I hear, everyone uses MAC….standard? And then there are those other options of Krylon and something else…but these are basically the same across. So the only thing differing is how good are you in your work, your experience and your popularity.

A makeup trial is like a must. I know you are very popular, you have done up 500+ brides over 8+ years of experience blah blah blah…but its my ONLY wedding…I can’t blindly trust you. Its not like you are a family doctor who does standard procedures and whom we can approach based on family recommendations.

One needs to experience it upfront to know how the look will turn out. And then when makeup trials itself cost like 2000+ and for good ones cost even upto 8k, its just mind boggling. That and then you do all sorts of naatak for not doing touchups and waiting till late night… we are paying for your service, not asking for free !

It almost feels like ransom, where all MUA’s know that the bride has no way out…so lets extort as much as possible. Its simply not acceptable !

 

I love silk more than bling  😕 

I still have couple of outfits to buy to have in my trousseau and wherever I go, my eyes keep going towards silk, be it raw silk, art silk, pure silk whatever. Somehow bling has become excess cheapo bling in the market…I can’t see anything which is decent enough to wear unless it costs a bomb and is designer wear.

Satin and net are the absolute no-no’s for me and I hate that two design sarees (one design on the pleats, one on the pallu). I don’t know why, but I just can’t get my head around that fashion sense. May be I lack fashion sense, but what to doooo….

Have I gotten old for preferring silk over bling. I am going to be a north indian bahu post wedding, should I be scared for having sober elegant outfits in my trousseau?  🙄

So today, I am off to Bhuleshwar again to shop for my trousseau. Hopefully will pick up something suiting my tastes. I want to pick a couple of semi stitched suit sets, then a floral raw silk cloth material (I want to make myself a floral skirt) …and some other fun stuff if I find anything. Will keep you updated on what I find.

 

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10 comments

Archana October 1, 2015 - 1:14 pm

Hi Namrata,
So good to see ur to do list, in my opinion you have completed all major tasks. Whatever is left you will complete that like a pro.
Please tell me Namrata from where you will pick silk fabrics and about good tailor and boutiques in Powai area.

Thanks dear…..:)

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Frugal2Fab October 3, 2015 - 2:56 pm

Hey Archana,
I am quite amused by your confidence in me. Even I am not that sure. But one way or the other, have to finish up with all the pending wedding tasks. So will do that 🙂

I stitch all my clothes from Mallika tailor in IIT Powai. Not many are fond of him, but he somehow has nailed my measurements perfectly. So I get all my things done by him. They are the cheapest best option around. But he has screwed up for many people in the past, so alternatively you can go to Garima in Hiranandani. The shop is less crowded, and not too expensive…so you can easily take your time and explain what you want done and they do a decent job. Then there is Darzi in Galleria, Hiranandani but this one is quite expensive. From what I hear, they charge like 4-5k for stitching suit sets.

The trick with all these tailors is no matter who you go to, go twice thrice to them till they make the perfect fit as per your requirements. Once they have done that, you just need to give that piece (outfit) to him every time to replicate the same for all your future outfits. Its easier for them to work that way. They then know exactly what kind you are looking for. Don’t keep changing tailors, because the first few times everyone will screw up in some way or the other. At least that’s how I have dealt with all these tailors.

For silk fabrics, Saroj in Chembur is pretty good. They are quite famous and have multiple outlets, I think they have one in Khar as well. You could also check out Tirumala in Manish Market for silk fabrics. But tell me something, are you looking for silk to make suit sets or silk sarees? Because if you are looking for silk sarees, Balaji Silks located at LBS Marg, Bhandup is pretty awesome. I bought all my silk from them. You could buy like a full body work kanjeevaram for 3-4k from them and cut it out to make your suit set. It may just come cheaper than buying cloth material. Do check it out once. They have in all price range starting 300 all the way to 50-60k.

If you can travel, then check out Glanz Fabrics in Khar West. You will also find Saroj next to it. So two stores close to each other, you might just find everything in one place 🙂

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Archana October 4, 2015 - 6:52 pm

Thanks for the information Namrata 🙂
And I have confidence in you bcoz you are so well organised with your wedding planning 🙂
Best of luck.
🙂

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Frugal2Fab October 6, 2015 - 1:40 pm

You are too kind. Thank you 🙂 🙂 I hope I could be of some help.

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Anuja Shah October 5, 2015 - 2:55 pm

Haha… You are so much like me – even i love silk more than bling 🙂 and there is nothin wrong with it – o but a north indian bahu :O who doesnt like bling… That is gonna take some time for your MIL to digest.. bt bt u r gonna live by yourselves in gurgaon… so you are lucky that ways…. For me for everythin i bought my MIL felt it was too light…. 🙂 which means she mentioned it atleast 7 times or so to me.. but now she doesnt – so mayb with time she has understood my taste n accepted it… or mayb she kno’s its gonna go to deaf ears… :P… n its not like i dont like bling…i can do bling bt not cheapo bling n thats the kind of bling available everywhr these days….

O thats a good way to determine whom to invite – i mean is he/she really a good frd if u havent spoken to each other since the past one year? … I mean i know ppl live in different cities n since college they have started working, got married … which does reduce the frequency of conversations n meetins….bt once in a yr is somethin ne good frd can manage…so ya u can surely chuck those friends out… unless ofcourse if its like u were 4 bum chums in a grp – all close to each other n den u call 2 or 3 of them n chuck the balance out coz u r no longer in touch with them…then the person may surely feel real bad… else i m sure no one is gonna mind.

The charges r sky rocketin for everything these days….ufff….n u right there is no way to determine whether u r gonna get the service worth the value u r payin for…

Omg!!! I cant wait to see your weddin lehenga :)… I am sure u ll look super in it…. i m planin to buy a saree to go with my wedding blouse.. that ways at least ill get to use my weddin outfit in some way… duppata k saath later on ill get a plain silk suit made (abhi toh too many suits r there n neways i m a stickler for plain silk suits with just a heavy duppata- looks classy, me thinks )…for the lehenga if u have a siblings or a cousins weddin comin up some time post ur weddin u can team your lehenga up with a lighter duppata n blouse n wear it… o wait you are gettin married in a north indian khandaan- u can wear your bridal outfit for ur karva chauth 🙂

For the guestlist n venue trust me these hall/lawn guys know the capacity they can accomodate … u can disc wat they say by 20%…And also it may seem that u have a guestlist of 1000 or 500 ppl n they cant fit into this place bt the thin is for weddins all the guests wont b comin at the same time…. only the close ones will b present at ur weddin whereas the peak hours of the wedding (dinner or lunch time) will b crowded n cramped up no matter wat…. so don’t stress bout it… it is goin to work out… ya u can trim down ur guestlist a bit, n since ur pheras r gonna b late in the night… u can work out with the decorator to utilise the space in a optimum way…like mayb put the chairs ard the mandap post dinner so that it will look n feel more breathy n ppl can spread out… i mean if the chairs r there ppl can sit n eat bt then it will give u a crowded feel as compared to ppl standing… other than that u cant really do much bout it… this is gonna b a prob at all the weddings… like if u have a pani puri or pizza stall or a dosa stall- it is gonna b crowded at all times whereas the main course wala stall is gonna b relatively breezy moving crowd wala… ur table arrangements (your servin table placements, round table placements or chair placements) can make a difference to the crowd n feel of the place…so take ur time n think over it n den finalise the same with ur decorator/caterer-

I love the audio/video invites wala option 🙂 Its gonna b personalised n yes no one really carry the cards to the venues these days…. at least not the youngsters… at max we will click a pic of it on our phones to guide us to the venue… pehle to ppl used to save cards of their close frens n family members as memories … ab toh no one does it… n even if they do its basis the exclusivity of ur card n not basis the closeness of ur relationship…bt ya an audio or video invite is definitely better that an e invite or an whatsapp invite.

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Frugal2Fab October 6, 2015 - 3:26 pm

I know right…I think I am going to feel like an outcast in Delhi if I don’t carry some amount of bling. But yeh Bombay ka bling is just so tacky. Just can’t find anything which is decently priced and not cheapu. Luckily my mum-in-law likes all sober stuff, so I am not at all worried about her, but aas paas ke log kya kahenge…

hahaha…its a challenge to keep the MIL happy hai na? Buy a few blings naa and keep in your wardrobe. She will be happy = You will stay happy! I checked out so many places, dadar, kalbadevi, bandra side and even suburbs but its one kind of bling that’s everywhere. I am just waiting for that fashion to pass. High time. I know it won’t be wearable couple of months down the line and then it will all seem to be wasteful investment.

I just got my wedding lehenga like yesterday. Its taking so much space in the house, my grandma suggested to keep it in my car ka dikki for the next two months! I hope she was joking because I think my lehenga got scared hearing that…I know I did….hehehe…Arey mast idea hai, to mix it up…using the blouse with another saree…I think I will do something similar too…my lehenga blouse can easily go with a saree…will keep an eye out to buy a matching saree…

I think a lehengas worth comes from its re-usability…otherwise I can’t move beyond the idea that it has no purpose after 3 hours. Its just too hard to digest. Karva Chauth, yesss the only plus point to fasting…in one year…fasting might be the only way I fit into that lehenga…

I am thinking of going ahead with round tables as well as the theatre style arrangement so that more number of chairs can be put in the lawn, and those who wish to enjoy the dinner, can take up the round tables at the back. Because of the rains, there have been no events at the lawn, and it was freaking me out so much to imagine whether my crowd would even fit in. Just went there yesterday and they still said that 1000 can easily accommodate…so I am hoping, half of that which is my crowd size should be fine at the venue.

I love the paani-puri stall idea, to keep maximum people standing and cornered in one place. Its brilliant…haha…we are evil I feel planning like this…

I haven’t yet had a chance to make my Save the Date cards yet. I think the time has gone now, and somehow I am so exhausted that I don’t know why but I am not even feeling bad about it. Audio invites, yes I think I will do that. Its a different approach and personalized, and I guess that’s what is important ultimately. So overwhelming all these things can be at times….Howz your wedding prep going on?

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Anuja Shah October 7, 2015 - 11:19 am

Ya keeping the MIL happy is a daunting task…bt i guess with time we have understood each other’s tastes well… so all good… ya i did end up with a few bling thins….bt kept it minimum…like a blingy duppata with a plain silk kurta or a bling clutch n likes…

Omg… weddin lehenga in a car’s dikki…. how can that b done… its gonna b more like ull allow it to sleep next to u on ur bed… or mayb hug it with all the love u have while sleeping…at best its gonna b in the closet or a suitcase where u ll keep checkin on it every chance u get…. thats the kind of love u have with ur lehenga…. share the pics na… cant wait to see it 🙂

haaha… i m sure u ll b fine n fit one year down the line.. these days brides r all fit n fine post marriage…in fact even new mom’s tend to get thin super fast post delivery as compared to our parents ka time….or so i ve noticed…

If they r sayin 1000, half of it will fit in easily…dont fret bout it… just relax….

Even i dint do the save the dates… i had thought that ill make them usin our engagement pic.. bt alas dint get ard makin them.. too lazy i guess… n ya even i dont think its a big deal i missed out on… mayb coz its gone so cliche… with everyone making their save the dates cards… these days people even do save the dates ka photoshoot… so much vella n money they have… bt ya personalized invitations r a thin n should definitely b done for ur close one’s…

Wedding prep is goin fine… abhi lot of thins are on my pending list, may be u can get help out of it and it ll b easier for me if i have it listed :). Here it is:

1. Get a tikka n nath for my weddin set
2. Get matching bangles, cocktail ring, bindi for weddin and reception and accessories for other functions
3. Get the second duppata made for my wedding outfit
4. Decide on the varmalas/ Jaimalas
5. Shoes for weddin n reception
6. Wedding invitations and finalise the list of invites for each function
7. Wedding caterer is decided but the menu needs to b fixed with him
8. Finalise a caterer and menu for the side functions – ganesh pooja, mehendi/baithak
9. Ring for the groom
10. Decide on the wedding music- whether i want a flute player/instrument player or just a disc playin instrumental music- check whats cheaper…if the flute player gets the speakers n there is not much of a difference in the charge… a live player will be preferential
11. Need to sort out the blouse stichin n petticoats for the sarees – mine as well as MIL gifted
12. Get the un-stitched suites stitched and the one requiring alteration sorted
13. Plan out different looks for each function so that none r repeated
14. Buy a red lipstick and matching nail paint to go with each function or mayb just get nail extensions with a french tip done before the wedding – decide
15. Lingerie shopping
16. Decide on the packaging for the mehendi favours…
17. Decide on the decor for the mehendi n ganesh – its gonna b DIY.. since its gonna b at home and i dont want to spend money on gettin it done by decorators. I have already got a few glass laterns and indian hangings those in bird shapes during my trip rajasthan…to hang on trees- . will do some flower rangoli in a urli… and some coloured rangoli aka diwali style on the floor…and some flower decoration and lights decoration- just series and some tea lights or mayb just buy dia’s during diwali ….Need to brain storm for other ideas
18. Invest in a good serum for that glow… start massaging with badam oil every night….every sunday or saturday do an natural home made hair spa n apply an home made face mask… its time for some TLC for the skin and hair.
19. Time to get an hair cut and decide on whether an hair colour should b done to hide the few grey hairs which have come up… i have like 5 of them…
20. Find the courage to do my bikini wax- i want to get it done once before the wedding month so that breakouts, if any can b tolerated
21. Also, i think ill get a wedding gift for my hubby to b, need to decide on wat should it b.

I guess once u r down with the main n big tasks … the smaller one’s take up more of your time… n also they r easy to miss out on…

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Frugal2Fab October 9, 2015 - 9:24 am

Anuja, I am totally stealing this pending list of yours…haha…so aptly put down. Its perfect. Wedding Lehenga in the dikki was a joke 😛 since the time it has come, I have already worn it twice in the afternoons just to take away all the wedding planning stress. Its really really helps. I get in such a good mood when I wear the Lehenga, I feel like saying dialogues like…wedding vendors nahi hai toh kya hua, mere paas lehenga hai !

I am giving up on the wedding guests fiasco as well. If they get a place to sit, well and good but I am done obsessing about it. Even I feel place ho jaayega, its just the paranoia in me which is making me go all out psycho. I think I am going to invest my time in sending personalized audio invitations to all my friends and relatives as well. I think people will like it, to just get a message along with the e-cards on their whatsapp screen.

The smaller tasks take like forever to complete. Just yesterday I was listing down all the possible things (activities) that can be done for the Mehendi Sangeet. Then was looking for a nice wedding quote to include in the invitation cards…internet has some real funny quotes…I was almost like…who puts these in their cards…but so that also is still to be finalized…so too many of these little yet important bits pending.

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Archana October 13, 2015 - 5:04 pm

Hi Namrata,
Just saw your post and felt your fear being a north Indian bahu. But trust me, there is no need to worry about that bling-love of north Indians. I am a north Indian bahu too but don’t like and wear deadly blingy stuff.

If you want some kind of blinging sarees, I guess you will get better collection in Delhi.

And for the sake of MIL, whatever you will wear with ease and confidence, you will look good and that thing will make your MIL happy.
🙂

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Frugal2Fab October 16, 2015 - 8:31 am

Hii Archana,
I thought so. I have always found better stuff in terms to Indian wear in Delhi. My MIL had gifted me some suit sets and they were gorgeous. I think I should shop in Delhi itself 🙂 My MIL doesn’t like too much bling bling, but I guess other people (society etc) expect you to look a little dazzly because you are the new bride. I think I will concentrate on chunky accessories to do the trick whenever I don’t want to go all out bling…

Less than 50 days, I am getting all the nervous jitters now. So much of planning done over the months and suddenly it feels like board exams approaching. There are so many feelings – super excited, sad about leaving, confused, happy, overwhelmed, its a full jhol of confused emotions. Too much happening.

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